Funny Back-To-School Quotes

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If you’re a kid, this is about the time of year that the bells start tolling. You hear the scrap and rattle of pencils, rulers, and the clicking of calculators (and, increasingly, the cell phone you’re hiding from your teacher). But parents, we’re here to help you celebrate your newfound months of freedom with funny back to school quotes. Enjoy!

  1. “Good luck on the transition from doing nothing at home to nothing at school.” — An anonymous, bitter parent
  1. “School’s starting! Teachers, you can’t hit the kids, but you can still hit the bottle.” — West Windsor High, South Dakota (very briefly)
  1. “In theory, I always think I should totally go back to school, because I don’t want to start sinking slowly… I want to learn, blah blahblah. Then I think about actually going and sitting in classes and, man, it sounds terrible.” — ConorOberst
  1. “School prepares you for the real world… which also bites.” — Jim Benton
  1. “The first day of school is a time warp. At 6AM you close your eyes for five minutes and its 7:45. Then in class at 3PM you close your eyes and its 3:01.” — Anonymous
  1. “I decorated my bedroom like a classroom to fall asleep faster.” — Albert Einstein
  2. “What, you’re going back to school? Just don’t take any class where you have to read Beowulf.” — Woody Allen
  1. “Showing a teacher back to school ads in July is like waving a cross in front of a vampire. It burns! It burns!” — Bill Engvall
  1. “The second biggest lie parents tell their kids who’re going back to school is that it will be fun. The first is that they missed them.” — Woodie Guthrie
  2. “Anyone¬†following me on Twitter already knows everything I did this Summer.” — Many, many students.

Image Source : US Department of Education

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