You Know You Child is Graduating When…

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graduation cards online

Graduation is the proudest moment for many parents: your little darlings, all ready for the inevitable years of college or work induced poverty, are no longer your responsibility. Now there are only a few things to do–buy graduation cards online, plan a party, sever all financial ties–before you can finally take that cruise you’ve been waiting for. Here are a few warning signs, so you know when that momentous day is approaching:

  1. Instead of asking for a new cell phone for their birthday, they ask for non-perishable food.
  2. They’re as embarrassed of their old Facebook photos as you are, and when asked why point to their potential employer.
  3. When you ask them why they’re in a bad mood, they respond with “I was working on my résumé.”
  4. Instead of sneaking out for late night parties, they go to early evening “networking opportunities.”
  5. They drink more coffee on a daily basis than you do in a week…
  6. …and their blood pressure is as high as yours to boot.
  7. They look back in horror at all of the years when they wasted money left and right on silly things like “clothes” and “having fun.”
  8. Their fondest memories are of the times before they had to worry about bills.
  9. They’ve started selling their old toys, games, clothes, and siblings to pay for college.
  10. When you ask “what do you want to be when you grow up?” they just say “employed.”
  11. If you give them a new car for a graduation present, they respond with less “thanks guys, that’s awesome!” and more “wait, how much is the insurance?”
  12. When you ask why they are dating their current girl or boy friend, they just respond with “well, he/she is very successful.”

Once you start seeing these things, it’s time to stop worrying, buy the appropriate graduation cards online, and kick back. You’ve made your mistakes, done your time, and now you’re free.

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