A Quick Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse



If you’re reading this right now, you either have an excellent sense of humor, or have recently heard word from the CDC and are preparing for real-life Romero flick. Fortunately, we’ve got you covered no matter which category you fall under, with this list of helpful things that you’ll absolutely need when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Enjoy, and try to ignore the groans coming from outside…

Make Lots of Friends

Not because you necessarily need the companionship, but because zombies can only eat so many people at a time. The more people you surround yourself with–especially if they aren’t particularly fast runners–the longer you have to hightail it.

Wear Boots or Tennis Shoes

It’s not a coincidence that the first people to get eaten are those wearing dress shoes and heels. On a related note, avoid shoelaces, because if the movies have taught us anything, it’s that you’re going to trip over them at the worst time.

Bring a Tent

Because you don’t really want to be the person who says “guys, let’s sleep in this large and easily penetrated house in the zombie-ridden suburbs,” do you?

Keep a Large Blunt Instrument Nearby

The more comically oversized and inefficient your weapon of choice looks, the more likely you are to survive. Zombie apocalypses have a strange way of protecting the comic relief.

Stock up on Food Beforehand

Late night snack runs aren’t really fun to begin with, and only get worse once the undead are added to the equation. Just buy cans of beans beforehand, and ignore the weird look the cashier gives you.

Get Your Congratulations Cards Beforehand

Remember those friends you’ve keeping around as zombie bait? You should give them a congratulations card for having survived as long as they did. As you probably won’t have access to the internet when the night of the living dead arrives, you might as well stock up.

Image By : Gianluca Ramalho Misiti

Post your comment